It's the food you love to hate, yet the food you secretly love. Well, hide your shame no more, because I’m giving you permission to throw a dinner party in honor of America’s tastiest invention — the chain restaurant. But first, a history lesson. We gotta know about our theme before we can immerse ourselves in its scrumptiousness.
Chain Restaurant 101
There are three types of chain restaurants in the U.S. Fast, casual, and fast-casual. (Upscale chains do exist, but we aren’t going to concern ourselves with those today.) Fast is what you typically think about when you hear the phrase “fast food” - McDonalds, Taco Bell, In-n-Out. There is almost always a drive-thru and the food comes out… fast. The world’s first fast food concept, White Castle, opened its doors in 1921 in Wichita, Kansas. In the late 1940s, the McDonald brothers opened a spot of their own (guess what they called it). They incorporated ideas from Henry Ford’s assembly line, creating McDonald’s infamous Speedee Service System, before selling the franchise to Ray Kroc, who took McDonald’s to where it is today - the highest selling fast food restaurant in the nation. By the late 1950s, the invention of the highway system fanned the flames of fast food and more establishments opened up, including Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut.
The menus featured food meant to be eaten by hand for driving and eating at the same time. But it wasn’t just convenience that drew customers in, it was also consistency. Before chain restaurants, people either ate at home, or in mom and pop shops. Now they could have the same McDonalds fries anywhere in America, and know that their kids would love it. No more risky stops at questionable diners in the middle of nowhere.
The fast food industry continued to grow throughout the 1970s and 1980s. Then, along with grunge music and beanie babies, the 1990s saw an influx of families with two working parents. Thus, the need for family-friendly dining options increased. Enter the casual chain restaurant. With their kid’s menu and their cocktails, places like Olive Garden, Chili’s and Red Lobster thrived. They evoked the feeling of a sit down restaurant with the convenience and consistency of fast food, and Americans were down to clown.
This leads us to fast-casual dining, a response to the cry for healthier food options that are better for the environment, and the very much remembered middle child of chain restaurants. Somewhere between fast and casual, these spots usually have no drive-thru or table service, but the food is claimed to be of higher quality than mere fast food, and “made-to-order.” I’m talking about places like Chipotle, Panera Bread, or that new salad spot that just opened down the street. Almost every famous fine-dining chef in the U.S. has a hard-on to create the next big fast-casual chain, and it shows.
Even with the healthier ingredient trend, chain restaurants still have a bad rep. (Some of them also have bad wraps.) Whether fast, casual or fast-casual, most of the ingredients are highly processed and made on a massive scale in equally massive factories, then flash frozen or dehydrated and shipped to restaurant locations for easy re-constitution, re-heating and assembly. On top of that, in order to maintain a consistent product, the food is often engineered with additives, flavorings and preservatives. These economies of scale and “enhancements” have forever affected agriculture, meat processing and labor markets in this country and beyond, and not in a good way.
But… BUT! Despite it all, there’s something to be said for the never ending breadsticks at Olive Garden, or the Doritos Loco Taco at Taco Bell. If you’ve had a bad day, a trip to Whataburger for a # 7 with cheese might be the only salve you need. There’s a reason why these chains collectively have thousands of locations. It’s because people like to eat at them. And hey, we can’t eat perfectly all the time. So let’s put our shame aside for a moment and allow ourselves to indulge in the the dredges of the food world. As long as we don’t live there forever, it’s perfectly okay, unquestionably delicious, and quite possibly, a really good time. So pop open another bottle of the good stuff and pass me a McRib, cause shit is about to get interesting.
Recipe for a Chain Restaurant Dinner Party
fun for 6-8 people
The best move for this particular party is to keep it simple. Keeping it simple is highly scalable, and that’s what we want. Scalability equals growth! Growth equals money! Money equals power! Power equals the ability to make your customers dinner guests eat whatever you tell them to!
To throw this party, you’ll need a menu, wine suggestions, invitations, a playlist, decorations & games, recipes, a grocery list, a prep plan and conversation starters.
You’ll find the menu and wine suggestions below. The invitations, playlist, decorations, and conversations starters will come in the next newsletter. The recipes, prep plan, and shopping list will follow in the newsletter after that.
The Menu:
For a printable version of the menu, click the download button below and print it out on 8 x 10 card stock. Don’t forget the flair!
Wine suggestions*
I always start my dinners with a round of cocktails (see above, re: Cherry Limeade Gimlets), then switch to wine, preferably of the natural variety. I’m no wine expert, so I asked my friend Erin Sylvester of Sylvester Rovine Selections for suggestions. Here’s her picks:
Wavy Wines x Bardos Collab 2022 grape & apple wine. This apple and grape wine brings the best of all worlds -- tart and zippy, bubbly and refreshing, utterly drinkable. A cheeky nod to the days of toasting with Martinelli's apple cider while your parents were getting completely faded..
Ecstatic Truth "Recliner" 2020 Zinfandel and free-run Syrah. The ultimate comfort wine for food that comforts. As the winemaker says "The most relaxing wine in the world. Just settle right in..."
If your wine merchant doesn’t carry these particular bottles, ask them to bring them in, or to recommend something similar.
*So, you’re on the wagon? Oh how I envy your glowing skin and hangover-free mornings. Keep up the good work! There are tons of great NA beverages out there. Grab your faves and go for it.
Thanks for coming through! Follow Ruined Table on tik tok and instagram for more, and stay tuned for the Chain Restaurant dinner party playlist, conversation starters, and decorations & game ideas, all coming in the next newsletter, in 2 weeks.
Stay messy,
McBroom